Welcome to the capital of the Kingdom of Thailand where east and west, ancient and modern, exotic and erotic, calm and chaotic, clash and collide in the most delightful ways. Here’s how get the most bang for your baht.

Note: all prices approximated in Canadian dollars.
THE “YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE” SPLURGE LIST
Ultimate Pampering at the Mandarin Oriental
Back in the 1800s, when Thailand was called Siam, the original 140-year-old Oriental hotel, located on the banks of the Chao Phraya River, opened its doors as a humble rest house for wayfaring seamen. Now called the Mandarin Oriental Bangkok, the landmark property went on to become one of the world’s most famous luxury hotels. Noel Coward enjoyed cocktails on the terrace; Mick Jagger partied at the Bamboo Bar; Michael Jackson hid out here from the press.
Going to Bangkok and not stopping at Thailand’s oldest hotel would be like going to Paris and not seeing the Eiffel Tower. Quite honestly, I could check in and never venture off the grounds.
Service reigns supreme, starting with the gentlemen who stand in front of the lobby elevators and push your floor buttons. In my room, overlooking the river, I was greeted with fresh orchids and bowl of mangosteens. The hotel delivers a different type of fresh exotic fruit to your room every day, along with another treat that comes with the turndown service— perhaps an elephant made of white chocolate.
Breakfast at the Riverside Terrace is an idyllic way to start your day. Help yourself to a Mimosa of Chandon bubbles and freshly squeezed mandarin juice while you contemplate the irrestistable buffet. Warm croissants, eggs Bennie, Thai noodles, sushi, panna cotta and apple tart are just a few of the options. Take a table by the river and watch the water hyacinths and longtail boats drift by.
Aah the Spa
The ideal antidote to the hustle and bustle of Bangkok is a day at the hotel’s Oriental’s Spa. The ritual begins with a leisurely five-minute boat ride aboard the hotel’s private shuttle junk from the main hotel across the river to a century-old traditional Thai teak house where the spa, cooking school and Sala Rim Naam Thai restaurant are located.
Up the stairs, past a pool strewn with lotus blossoms, I removed my shoes and put on a pair of slippers. The spa director gave me the traditional Thai “wai” blessing (palms together like a prayer pose) and offered me a cup of aromatic lemongrass tea.
My masseuse led me to one of fourteen private suites, complete with shower and changing room. I pulled on a pair of crisp cotton pyjamas and lay face-up on a mattress on the gleaming teak floor. It is here that I discovered the profound pleasure of the ancient Thai massage.
Unlike a Swedish massage where you lie naked on a table and are kneaded with oil, the traditional Thai massage is an entirely different experience. The series of contortions and stretching movements are patterned on the Asanas of Hatha Yoga. Your masseuse might hike your legs over your head while she presses her foot into your hamstrings. Don’t be alarmed when she turns you over and walks down your spine and then tries to twist you into a sitting pretzel.
A Thai massage is more revitalizing than relaxing but at the end you feel like you’ve had a total body workout. Beware: it can become addictive.
Since its debut in 1993, The Oriental Spa has consistently been voted “Best Spa in the World” and in 2015 it was also named the first and only Forbes Travel Guide Five-Star Recommended spa in Thailand.
Joy of Cooking
Housed in the same building is the Oriental’s Thai Cooking School, also the first in Bangkok. Here chef Narain will introduce you to the secrets of Thai cuisine. The hands-on experience begins outside on the patio where I was instructed to rub slices of kaffir lime onto my hands before rinsing. The oil in the lime acts like a natural hand lotion and the fresh citrus aroma is sublime. Chef had me smell some of the herbs growing and we snipped a bit of Thai basil.
My classmates and I sliced, diced and pounded our way through four Southern Thai recipes: stir-fried beefs with lemon grass; steamed egg with shrimp paste; rice vermicelli with a curried sauce of crab and wild betel; dumplings with coconut sauce. I learned that southern Thai cuisine uses a lot of coconut milk and cream.
Thai cuisine is a balance of tastes: salt, sour, sweet, hot and sometimes bitter. Lemons are never used, only limes. I discovered that the smaller the chilli the hotter and the Bird’s eye used in the most of our dishes is dynamite. Fish sauce and shrimp paste are indispensable in Thai cooking.
We prepared everything from scratch and that involves what chef describes as “anger management” when pounding the ingredients for curry paste with a mortar and pestle.
At the end of the class, each participant is awarded a certificate and a gift bag with a fresh apron and a selection of herbs. “No one ever fails,” says chef as he leads us to a table set at the adjoining Sala Rim Naam restaurant to enjoy the fruits of our labours.
Thai High Tea
To celebrate its 140th anniversary, the Oriental completed a $25 million renovation of its historic Authors’ and Garden Wings. For a total splurge, consider the 600 square metre Grand Royal Suite complete with private elevator, Victorian conservatory, private butlers and dining room that accommodates twelve. All this is yours for about half a million baht per night ($18,000 CDN).
If that sounds a bit rich for your budget, settle for Thai High Tea in the Authors’ Lounge where luminaries such as Joseph Conrad, Somerset Maugham, Jeffrey Archer and John Le Carré have supped. The lemongrass, chilli, lime and crabmeat sandwiches are exquisite, as are mango scones and tartlets. There’s a tempting list of teas and infusions, specially created for the hotel by the prestigious Parisian teahouse of Mariage Frères. It’s a poetic finale to a blissful day in Bangkok.
mandarinoriental.com/bangkok
Pie in the Sky
Set on the 63rd floor of the State Tower, the open-air Sirocco restaurant is the place for a stylish evening out at the world’s highest alfresco eatery. Jutting out about the rooftops, the luminescent Sky Bar changes colours as you sip your Hangovertini, which was created for the cast of The Hangover Part II while they were filming here. Indulgences on the Chef’s Tasting Menu might include parsnip ice cream, jumbo scallops, foie gras, black cod and chanterelle mushrooms and Wagyu beef cheeks with a black truffle gel—each course served with a different Champagne vintage. Warning: not for those suffering from acrophobia.
lebua.com
Silk Road
Jim Thompson, an American who revitalized the silk industry in Thailand, was a US military intelligence officer who went on vacation in Malaysia in 1967 and mysteriously disappeared. But his silk legacy lives on. His shops sell beautiful creations, large and small. You will also dine well at Jim Thompson Bar & Restaurant located in Jim Thompson House Museum.
jimthompson.com
THE “CHEAP THRILLS” SAVE LIST
Location, Location
Ideally located on the Chao Phraya River overlooking the Temple of Dawn, the boutique Sala Rattankosin Hotel takes full advantage of its enviable real estate. Have cocktails and tapas on the roof bar at sunset. Try the Sala Sunset (Thai whisky, Triple Sec and fresh mango juice) or Chao Phraya Gin Fizz (Bombay Sapphire with kaffir lime juice and soda). Then enjoy the culinary genius of English chef Tony Wrigley out on the deck as the boats cruise by.
To my surprise and delight, the glass of white Colombard from the Monsoon Valley in Hua Hin, Thailand was fresh and fruity and a perfect pairing with chef’s tuna tartare and soft shell crab tempura with green mango and cashew salad. Main courses included seafood curry, crispy pork belly and slow braised lamb shank. Rooms are modern and nicely appointed with breakfast included. Request a river view. Note: this former warehouse has no elevator. salaresorts.com/rattanakosin
Local Knowledge
Explore the City of Angels with a guide from Smiling Albino via public transportation. The tour starts aboard a longtail boat cutting through the canals of “Little Bangkok.” Hop a tuk-tuk (scooter taxi) to one of the city’s oldest temples, Wat Pho where with luck you’ll get a blessing from a saffron-robed monk. A trip through the flower market, overflowing with marigolds, roses and lotus blossoms, explains where most of the garlands and floral displays that adore the many spirit houses originate. Cost is $125 US per person. Smiling Albino also offers cycling, nightlife and Chinatown tours of Bangkok.
smilingalbino.com
Culture and Hedonism
Bangkok has more than 400 temples but if there’s one must-see it’s the Grand Palace, a square mile of gilded royal temples and palaces. The ornate Wat Phra Keo houses the famous Emerald Buddha (actually it’s made of jade). Take a tuk-tuk to the neighbouring Wat Pho, famous for its enormous Reclining Buddha and it’s ancient school of Thai medicine and massage, so you can combine culture and hedonism in one visit. A one-hour massage costs about $15. How can you resist?
watpomassage.com
Trip the Night Fantastic
For those of you who loved hunting for treasures at the night market in Lumpini Park, the bad news is that is no long exists; the good news is that there’s a new even better evenings only attraction called Asiatique The Riverfront open daily from 5 p.m. to midnight. Catch the free 10-minute ferry from Sathorn Pier (Skytrain stop Taksin) across the Chao Phraya River.
The refurbished 100-year-old sawmill has more than 1,500 boutiques housed in nine warehouses. Shop for anything from hip new fashions to traditional Thai handicrafts. I got some aromatherapy oils, silk scarves and some funky jewellery for just a few baht. Plan to dine at one of 40 eateries serving a variety of cuisines, including Japanese, Italian and pub fare. There’s also the Joe Louis Thai Puppet Theatre, Calypso cabaret and a huge Ferris wheel from which you’ll have fabulous nighttime views of downtown Bangkok.
asiatiquethailand.com
Getting Around
Bangkok is plagued with heavy traffic and lots of jams. Your fastest mode of transportation in the Skytrain, offering a bird’s eye view of the city in clean and blissfully air-conditioned cars. English is spoken at the ticket stations. The underground or MRT is another option. Fares range from .50 to $1.40 for both trains or you can opt for a tourist pass.
bangkokmetro.co.th
Tuk-tuks are fun and noisy and make good photo ops. However, a taxi might be cheaper. If you hail a tuk-tuk, agree on a price before getting in and prepare to haggle hard. Beware of a cheap trip to a tailor or gem shop.
The fast and frequent ferries along the Chao Phraya River are a good way to visit the many temples and palaces. From the main Sathorn Pier you can head upriver and stop at numerous piers all the way to Nonthaburi. Buying a tourist ticket) gets you one-day unlimited travel plus a guide to some of the riverside tourist attractions.
Get your Kicks
The normally gentle Thai people are passionate about their national sport, Thai boxing. Join the locals as they cheer for and gamble as the athletes pummel each other using most of their body parts. Bouts take place at Lumphini Stadium on Tuesday, Friday and Saturday; at Ratchadamnoen Stadium on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday. Cost for a ringside seat is about $40.